Let Her Cry
by SparroeOrtiz78
Summary: Finding a family that actually cares whether you die is amazing but finding the man who could make you want more out of your life than just making money. Being re-written AU Should delete but I won't.
1. Father

When you don't have a father the men you meet tend to influence you and your relationships. Seventeen was a very critical year for Alexandria Crowe; she met the men who would become her family and the man that would become a father figure to her, well not exactly. Let's start at the beginning when she started down this path that would lead to her family.

**Thirteen:** She had never fitted in she was branded an outsider. At thirteen she finally found somewhere she did. Being half Native American and half white the Metis had accepted her. The Metis a group of mixed-bloods formed to protect but later got in the drug and gun business.

**Fourteen:** She starts selling drugs for Metis to keep a roof over her head since her junkie mother couldn't be bothered by it. She tries it just once; she got hooked before she knew it and that lead to sleeping with bangers.

**Fifteen: **At fifteen everything changed. A heroin overdose caused it. She was pregnant. The Drugs had killed her baby, a baby she didn't even know she was carrying. She changed for the better started doing twelve steps and talking to a priest.

**Sixteen:** She sells drugs to keep a roof over her head. It's all she knows how to do. She kills for the Metis but she doesn't feel remorse, she doesn't feel anything. She's the cleaner she fixes shit when it goes wrong. She stays with the Metis they're all she has.

**Seventeen**

Metis is having problems with an MC. She gets a call to come to the meeting. She started walking to meet her gang. Her thoughts went back to the last call she had received from them, that call had landed her in jail with an assault charge and well she wasn't a fan of jail cells.

She was walking down an alley coming from the downtown library, smoking her Newport, when she heard a sound coming from the other end of the alley. She quickly pulled out her gun from her waistband cautiously making her way down the alley.

She tightened her grip on the gun when she saw a trash bag move and a groan came from behind them. As she got closer she saw a man with black hair and a leather vest. He was covered in blood, without thinking she put her gun back in her waistband kneeling down beside him.

She finally looked at his face. At either side he had a scar running along his cheek.

"Hey man are you okay?" He moved with a speed she wasn't prepared for and she felt a knife at her throat.

"Are ya with them?" She didn't move but she felt blood run down her neck.

"With who?" As he spoke again she noticed his accent was either Scottish or Irish she wasn't really sure.

"Tha Ms darlin'" She shook her head. She was lying but she couldn't leave him out here, something in her wouldn't allow it.

"Come on 'darling'" She said in a mocking tone as she was pulling him up and throwing his arm over her shoulder. She moved him down the alley when she got to the end she glanced around and continued down the street. She half carried, half dragged him down the street. She was going the back way to her house which was a few blocks from where they were.

By the time they made it to her house she was out of breath and her left side was covered in his blood. At one point he had passed out and she had to drag him under his arms for a block. She was glad she didn't have her catholic school uniform on.

She leaned him against the wall beside the door as she unlocked her back door and praying her mom wasn't here. She pushed the door open; he was awake enough to help her get him to the couch. After she put him on the couch she stripped off her bloody clothes and walked to the bathroom to get her well stocked first aid kit. While she was looking for it she called Jo, his phone went straight to voicemail.

_Hey Jo its Ally, something came up with my mom sorry. I know you needed me tonight but she was tweaking man. _She hung up the phone and grabbed the case.

She went back into the living room only in her bra and panties; his eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow. She took off his vest, cut off his white t-shirt and pulled his jeans off. She cleaned the blood off of him using alcohol and a rag. As she wiped the blood away she noticed the tattoos there was a reaper holding a sickle and the name Kerianne.

It was as she finished rubbing him down that she realized she was helping the enemy, fucking reapers. She was a traitor but she finished the job anyway stitching him up and bandaging the lesser wounds.

After she finished playing nurse, she showered and went back into back into the living room. She started going through the pockets of his vest looking for a phone or identification, something to get him out of her house. If the gang found out she'd be dead and marked as a traitor. She was kind of glad the only color she had was two small Ms on her shoulder.

She glanced down at the sleeping man after not finding what she wanted. She walked towards him and shook him. He woke with a start and began searching for something which she assumed was his knife which was in her purse. "Calm down! I just need to know who to call to get you to a safe place and out of my life."

He set up and glanced down at his body. "Ya do this?"

She shrugged and said, "Been through a few scrapes myself."

He stood and wobbled causing her to rush forward grabbing his arm, "You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest."

She started to drag him down the hall and he pulled against her, "Why are ya helpin' me?"

She sighed and pulled him down the hall to her room. "Because I would like to think karma will pay me back if I help you."

She turned the covers down and pushed him onto the bed, "Sleep. I'll make you something to eat then we'll sort this out." He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

_Two Days Later_

She found out his name was Filip or as he said he prefers to be called 'Chibs' and that he's SOA like she thought. He told her a bit about himself he was Scottish but grew up in Belfast in Northern Ireland. He was married and had one daughter. She doesn't think he would be as open, no member of gang usually is. She puts it down to the amount of blood he has lost. When she came into help him clean up, go to the bathroom or bring him food he would watch her. At the end of the second day she got him out on the couch wearing a pair of sweats she found in her mom's room.

She was doing her homework and watching re-runs of 8 Simple Rules while he was sitting there watching her. She knew he had got his strength back and was a little wary of him but pretty much he just sat there. Once in awhile he'd ask questions, over the last two days the questions had been spread out but consisted of:

"What's your real name and not tha one ya fed me"

"Alexandria Jade Crowe."He had looked at her for a minute. "Would you like to see my birth certificate?"

"No thanks. How old are ya?"

"Seventeen."He had just nodded.

"Do ya live here alone?"

"Pretty much, I pay all the bills." He looked at her for a long time before looking away.

"What's ya race?"

" I'm half white, half Native American, why?"

"Just askin' is it your ma that's Indian?"

She shook her head. "No my dad was. He was a Marine. He died when I was three."

"Where is your mother, deary?"

"In a crack house somewhere,_" _He nodded and that was the last question until now when they sat there in silence.

"Why'd chu join a gang?"

Her head snapped up and she blinked at him, "How?"

He pointed around, "Your ma's not around, you seem comfortable enough. You don't seem to be struggling and I think you respect yourself enough not to sell your body. How long and where are your colors?" She shook her head but answered him,

"Since I was thirteen, it's on my shoulder." She showed him the small red Ms.

"You lied to me that night."

She narrowed her eyes at him."Look, if I wanted you'd be dead but no I'm helping you and the phone's right there. Call whoever you want."

He sighed, "Can't."

It was then she asked him the first question, "Why were you there by yourself? I don't know about your club be we don't leave people behind."

"They didn't know I was here, its IRA stuff you wouldn't know about that." She just blinked at him deciding not to ask any more questions.

She glanced at the clock and then at him. "I think I know how to get you home safe along with your bike."

_Three O'clock In The Morning_

She got the keys to the old truck that was sitting in her garage, it was unsafe the only time she used it was to go see her Memaw and to get groceries. Now she had Chibs in the front seat with her heading for his bike which was parked only a few blocks down from where she found him.

She stopped at a stop sign, saw the bike and looked around for her brothers. She pulled up with the tailgate toward the bike. She and Chibs hopped out, he dropped the tailgate while she glanced around but not giving herself away. He rolled the bike toward the truck, they struggled to get it in the back but once it was done they relaxed.

They got back in the truck. As she started the engine she saw headlights. "Get down."

The car pulled up beside her and she rolled the window down, "Hey A.J. what you doing out here?"

She sighed, "What I usually do Tay, Clean-up." She smiled at the man who could easily cause her death.

"Aight, you comin' to the party tomorrow?" She laughed, "No I have Mass in the morning."

The man scuffed, "Whatever, see you around."

She watched as they drove off, "Shit." She put the truck in gear and headed for the highway.

Once off the on-ramp Chibs sat up groaning. "Shit that hurts. Jesus Christ."

She was starting to panic and mumbling to herself that she was dead.

Chibs grabbed her hand, "Darlin' we'll protect you."

He squeezed her hand when she didn't reply to him, he was about to say something else when her phone rang. She read the caller ID: Jo. "Shit," she said before answering. "Hello?"

_**Where are you?**_

_Cleaning up, _she said it without a trace of emotion.

_**Yeah well I wasn't ready for that mess to be cleaned up. Where is he?**_

_I have no clue what you're talkin' about._

_**The fuck you don't Ally, give him to us and you'll be forgiven, swear.**_

_Oh yeah isn't that what you said to Sasha and where the fuck is she?_

_**Fine but you coulda had mercy now you die like the traitor whore you are. **_He hung up and A.J. threw the phone out the window.

She started repeating the word shit under her breath and Chibs grabbed her hand and told her to pull over which she did. He pulled her out of the truck and told her to breathe. He wrapped his arms around her, she knew he was feeling guilt but she had made her bed and now she had to lie in it.

She sobbed into his chest while he rubbed her back." You can stay with me as payment for you saving me. I'll protect you." She nodded and relaxed, "We need to get a move on A.J. or we'll get caught." He drove while she slept, a little after six they traded and he slept while she drove to Teller-Morrow.

_The Clubhouse_

She pulled into the parking lot glancing around; she pushed Chibs' thigh, she had learned this was the best way to wake him.

"We're here." He grunted and opened the door; she got out after him heading for the tailgate. He dropped it while she hopped into the back by the time she got it up someone had brought a wood board and placed it on the gate and she helped guide it down to the concrete.

She hopped down and Chibs grabbed her hand pulling her toward the clubhouse with the prospect following looking confused. They entered and Chibs made a warrior yell which made the leather vest jump up.

She soon found herself in a booth with the same prospect that had helped with the bike, the reason she knew who he was, was because of the vest. She listened to cheers, laughter and loud voices as she laid her head on the table. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes falling asleep.

He kept an eye on her the whole time, he watched her fall asleep before telling them he had to check on something. He walked to the table, "Hey Juicy pick her up and follow me." As Chibs walked passed, Clay told him. "Church in five."


	2. Ink Fades

_The clubhouse, Chibs' room_

She woke up feeling disoriented and lost she hated that feeling it reminded her of waking up in the hospital. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes waiting for her mind too clear. She knew she was on enemy territory the question was how long she was going to be there alive.

She got off the bed heading for the bathroom; she was walking past the mirror in the room when she noticed pictures around the mirror. She noticed a pretty black woman holding a baby, there was one with just the woman and a younger Chibs which made her smile, and then there was one with guys in leather vest, "That's my wife and Kerianne."

She jumped. "She's gorgeous, both of them."

He walked up behind her, "that one's right after we got married and that one's when Kerianne was six months. This is the picture from when I got my patch."

She glanced at him, "So am I going to be a nameless body they don't find for years?"

He was now looking at her, "No, you're stayin' with us but on one condition." He paused liked he was trying to gage her reaction.

"What?"

He put his hands in his pockets, "You have to cover your colors." She shrugged since she was no longer welcome there; there was no point in having it "With a Sons tattoo and it has to be bigger than the Ms and we have to approve it."

She thought for a minute, what did that mean, what would that require her doing, and what would her father say? Okay he would have been pissed about a lot of things she'd done but she always asked the question. The first time she had reasoned if it was to keep her safe than okay.

This time she used the same reasoning, "Fine but I'm not fucking anybody."

He laughed, "That's a good attitude come on let's get you a cup of coffee and we'll talk designs." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked down the hall to kitchen. The Prospect was in there, "Did I introduce you two?" She shook her head and the prospect said no, "Well A.J. this is Juice he's trying to patch in."

She smiled at him. "And what does that entail?"

Chibs was making a cup of coffee, "It entails he do whatever we say for a year." She took the coffee he offered and sipped.

"Sugar and well that's better than what I had to do." Juice looked at Chibs who smirked.

"Yeah what'd you have to do?"

She smiled because they thought she got off easy cause she was a girl but it was different for her because her leader wanted to use her for more than sex. "I had to kill a traitor and his girlfriend." Juice stared at her while Chibs choked.

"Jesus Christ are you serious?" She shrugged and said.

"Chibs, I was useful and he wanted to make sure I could handle the jobs he was going to give me. I mean I get in places most gang bangers can't."

This time Juice said, "Shit dude, so you're kind of badass."

She drank her coffee. "I had to survive and that's what I had to do."

Chibs pushed his hand through his hair. "Alright so it's clear you won't be a crow eater."

She frowned. "What's a crow eater?"

A woman's voice answered. "A whore and most times a junkie whore."

She turned to look at an older woman with black hair, "I'm Gemma and you are?"

She smiled at the woman realized this must be the HBIC, "Alexandria Jade Crowe but you can call me A.J."

Gemma gave Chibs a look, "So this is the one who helped you? Least she don't look like the whores around here, she's actually pretty."

"So you have to cover your old colors, you could always do a reaper or crow or an A." A.J. looked at Chibs,

"Whatever as long as it's not ugly."

_Laying on a pool table in The Clubhouse_

She was topless and laying on her stomach as a needle ran across the skin on her shoulder blade covering the Ms. She was surrounded by the club and some crow eaters who were watching her become an associate of SAMCRO. She had finally asked Chibs what getting this tattoo would mean:

_He had picked up her hands and said, "It means you'll benefit from some of the jobs we do if you're involved, we'll protect you, and you'll have a family that cares." She had stared at him from a minute before throwing herself at him hugging him, "Thanks."_

Now she was getting a reaper on her shoulder with its scythe, it wasn't exactly the same as the patches it was a female reaper with hints of pinks around the hood. It was more delicate, the fingers were dainty, and she had curves instead of being straight and boxy. She lay still for hours until it was filled in and complete.


	3. Don't Die

_Six Months later_

She's standing in a six feet deep hole with Juice; he's shirtless and sweaty while she's in heels, skinny jeans and a tank top. She's looking up and crossing herself while whispering a quiet prayer. They're finished digging and roll the body in. He was a 9er they didn't need showing up. Juice stood beside her to help her out of the hole. She had been the one to shoot him; he had known her in her former life he threatened to go to the cops.

He laced his fingers so she can put her foot in and get out of the hole, once she was out she held out her hand to pull him up. They both started to fill the hole when they heard an engine getting closer. They never stopped working; they shoveled more dirt on the grave as the engine cut.

"Good you're almost done. Ma wants to have a dinner tonight." Jax Teller was watching them work.

"I wish your mom would stop tryin' to adopt me."

Jax laughed. "She's never had a daughter anyway that just means you and I could spend more time together."

She laughed while Juice frowned. "I don't think so Jax. You and Wendy got that thing and I don't want to have to kick her ass."

He took off his vest and laid it on the bike before taking her shovel, "There ain't shit between me and Wendy not since she walked in on us."

She laughed, "Been there done you and not interested."

He smirked at her, "Just checking. If you want another ride you let me know."

She smiled lighting her cigarette. "So what time is she planin' on eatin'?"

He stopped to pull his shirt off. "Um about five thirty but she wanted you to help her cook so you need to head over there about three."

She nodded and flicked her cigarette. She walked off to piss and came back about thirty minutes later to switch with Juice. They did this for the next couple of hours before they finished.

"You want a ride?"

She raised an eyebrow. "It's just a ride to Chibs' place and then to Mom's, swear."

"Alright." She grabbed her jacket and purse from the van before straddling the bike. She placed the helmet on her head then wrapped her arms around Jax's waist. He slid her hands down his stomach closer to his crotch.

_Gemma's, Family Dinner_

The table was packed with members and member's family, Opie and Donna, Chibs and A.J, Tig, Juice, Bobby, Luanne, Piney, Clay, Jax and Gemma, and some others with their girlfriends or wives. She's sitting beside Chibs and Tig laughing at them as they talk about a run they made that went horrible wrong and they had ended up locked in a port-a-potty for three hours.

Gemma stood up. "Alright quiet I've got news. As you all know we've recently gained a new 'member'. Well today it becomes official." Gemma went to her purse and pulled out legal documents. "These are adoption papers that I got Chibs to sign a few months back and about a week ago I got your mother to sign. So Alexandria Crowe you are now Alexandria Jade Crowe-Telford." Gemma handed her the papers.

A.J. looked over the papers, "Are you serious?"

No one could tell how she was feeling about the whole thing but Chibs answered. "Yeah, you're like a daughter anyway so I'd thought we'd make it official and Gemma helped."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him when she pulled away there was tears in her eyes. Cheers went around the table as she pushed her chair back to go hug Gemma. "Thank you, Mama Gemma."

Tig shouted above the noise, "So I guess this means no more Catholic School, although I do like watching you walking around the shop in that uniform." Chibs punched him in the arm while the others laughed. They finished dinner and were heading out when Opie pulled her to the side, Donna was already in the truck. "I need a favor."

She looked around. "What kinda of favor?"

He sighed, "I was wonderin' if you'd go to the doctor with Donna tomorrow?"

She laughed, "Yeah of course, Noshi."

He frowned at her. "What the fuck does that mean?"

She smiled at him, "Father."

He smiled and hugged her. "Thanks, she'll call you later."

She nodded before turning to look for her purse, all she wanted to do was go home to her bed and get a few hours' sleep before she had to get up. Six months and she had proved herself over and over, they treated her like a prospect but she didn't get a vest. They mostly used her to get into places, find people and asking questions without letting their pray know. She yawned and waited for Chibs to come out of the bathroom.

Juice walked up to her. "Um Chibs' got something to do tonight so I'll be taking you home."

She nodded, "Alright Papi, take me home."

She followed him out to his car which was a black Dodge truck. He opened the door for her which made her smile. He closed the door and ran around the front of the truck to get in.

"This is nice," She said looking for her lighter.

"Thanks it's only a 1983. Not important." She smiled at him as she lit her cigarette.

They pulled into the driveway and she got out. She knew he would walk her to the door, he always did but for some reason she stopped and waited for him to get out.

"Um this is okay, Juice you can go."

He shook his head. "I have to make sure you get in okay."

As they walked to the door she started to feel really uneasy. Juice put the key in the lock and turned it. He pushed the door opened, BANG, and then she felt blood running down her arm.

She watched as Juice fell to his knees, she rushed to him making sure he didn't hit his head. He lay on the ground and the man who shot Juice said. "Stand up."

She stared at Juice who was trying to stop the bleeding just using his hand, "Can I at least give him something to stop the bleeding?" She felt something soft hit her in the face.

"Give it to him then get up." She did as she was told. She kept glancing down at Juice, her heart was breaking.

"See now Ally if you had did as I said last time we wouldn't be here but you know I don't let traitors live." Jo stood in her living room.

"You can't let him die. This isn't about him, Jo, please."

Jo laughed, "Why do you care about him when you didn't care about our baby, huh?"

She felt the tears. "I didn't know about our baby and you're the one that was giving me the drugs."

"No, No if I had known….." She walked toward Jo, she heard Juice make a sound of protest but she kept going,

"I know, I know." Jo dropped his arms. "I love you and I would have been a good father."

She nodded, "and you still can be Jo, just help him please."

Jo looked between Juice and A.J. "Fine but you have to go with me."

She relaxed. "Okay. Let me just call someone." She moved toward the phone when she felt Jo hit her, she landed on the floor and he dropped on top of her holding the gun to her head.

"Do you think I'm stupid? DO YOU?" He pushed the gun into her head,

"No, No I don't Joey please don't do this." She was trying to figure something out.

He whispered, "Why don't you love me, Ally? I've been there for you, I've taken care of you and I kept you alive. Why are you choosing them over me?" It was suddenly clear to her, Jo was high. She got her arms loose, hit him in the face and grabbed the gun. He laid on the floor moaning while she stood up pointing the gun at him.

He was crying as he stood up, "Why wasn't I enough?" Jo's face changed from sad to angry, he ran toward her and she pulled the trigger twice. He dropped at her feet; she threw the gun and ran for Juice who had his eyes closed.

"Juice, Juan Carlos I swear to God you better not be dead I'll kill you."

He coughed laughed, "Isn't that a little redundant?"

She kissed him on the lips, "Hang on, please."

He last words before he lost consciousness was, "For you anything."

_Charming Hospital_

She sat in the waiting room with her hands covered in blood**;** Unser was asking her questions about what happened at the house, just basic stuff until Chibs got there. She'd been in there an hour by herself, she hadn't called anyone, she didn't know where her phone was and she couldn't focus clearly. She told Unser the whole story afterwards he had sat with her waiting for Juice to get out of surgery. They didn't talk they hadn't much to say to each other. All she cared about was Juice making it out of surgery.

She didn't notice when Unser got up or the fact he was talking to Gemma and Clay. She was thinking about her choices and how they had led to sitting here and hoping the man she was slowly falling in love with didn't die. She felt someone touch her arm and then she felt pulling. It was Gemma pulling her to the bathroom. Gemma told her to hop on the counter_**.**_

Gemma used a damp paper towel to clean her face and hands.

"Jax is stopping by the house to get you some clothes." Gemma pulled the blood soaked jacket off and wiped down her arms. "Are you okay? Are you in shock?"

A.J. sighed, "No just thinkin' and prayin'."

Gemma smiled. "You're a strong girl. I think you need someone to look at your face honey."

There was knock on the door, "Come in."

Jax walked in holding a bag. "Shit, you okay? I saw the house shit A.J."

She smiled at Jax. "I'm okay and I'll feel better once I get these bloody clothes off."

Gemma helped her and Jax asked questions and once they both were done he wrapped his arms around her and said, "You're okay." They walked out into the waiting room to see the whole club there.

She sat down beside Chibs who had heard the story from Unser like everyone else. Two hours later, half the club was asleep the other half whispering to each other, the doctor came out. Chibs and A.J. stood.

"Mr. Telford, Juan is stable right now. He had blood in his lungs and around his heart. We repaired the damage from the bullet but he'll need to be on bed rest for a while. Other than that he'll be just fine."

There was a sigh of relief throughout the club. "There was one other thing. He said he want to see someone named A.J."

Chibs pushed her forward, "This is the lass. Go Juicy needs a little love after this."

The doctor smiled at her. "Follow me please."

She followed him through twin doors and down a hall to ICU, "He'll be moved in the morning. Here you go."

She nodded and said thanks before taking a breath and walking into his room.

He laid in the bed with IVs in his hands and cords running from under his grown. He looked to be asleep; she walked over and intertwined their fingers carefully. She felt him squeeze her hand, she looked up as he said a groggy. "Hi."

She smiled at him, "Hi, how do you feel?"

He grinned at her. "Like a hero who needs a reward."

She laughed. "Oh what kind of reward?"

He point to his lips, she smiled at him before leaning toward him, "My hero." She kissed him and he tried to pull her closer to the bed but was too weak. When she pulled back he was out of breath which made her laugh.

"Will you stay with me?"

She nodded. "If they let me. Do you want to see Chibs?" Her question hung in the air as she realized he was asleep. She leaned back in the chair and got comfortable. As she watched him sleep she thought back a few months ago when she realized she had feeling for him.

_**Flash Back**_

She was walking back to Chibs' place from St. Michael's Catholic school when a black van pulled up beside her and she got defensive. "Look buddy just because you have a little dick doesn't mean you get to harass me."

She heard laughter and finally looked at the man behind the wheel. "Babe bitch isn't my type."

She shot him the bird, "Yeah well gay nerd isn't mine."

"Hey, I'm not a nerd," She laughed at him and rolled her eyes. "Do you want a ride?"

She nodded and opened the door hooping in, "Yeah where are you going?" She watched as his eyes ran up the length of her long legs.

He cleared his throat, "The clubhouse I have some work to do."

She nodded, "Can I ask you something?" He shrugged, "Can you teach me how to fix cars?"

He laughed and then glanced at her face. "You're serious? Yeah sure I'll teach you." He paused and thought for a moment, "How about I pick you up from school and I'll teach you for an hour?"

She bounced in her seat. "Yes thank you."

It was two weeks in to him teaching her. He was patient, he never spoke down to her and he didn't yell. He made her laugh when she made a mistake. Slowly she started falling asleep thinking about him, his laugh, his smile. It scared her.

So she missed it up unconsciously by sleeping with Jax. It was one of the nights she was helping him get information on whether or not they could trust a buyer. They had completed it and were staying in a hotel because it was too late to travel. They had started out smoking and talking about random shit. Jax moved from the opposite side of theroom to sit beside her.

He placed his hand on the back of her head pulling her forward. He kissed her and she didn't pull away. He deepened the kiss and pushed back so that she laid on the bed. When she woke up the next morning Jax's arms were wrapped around her and her head was on his chest. She had felt guilty but she also felt safe.

_**End Flash Back**_

She kind of hated herself for that. She was a repeat offender after all and the first time wasn't the last. She rubbed the back of Juice's hand hoping he would be able to look past her faults.


	4. Prison Blues

She was alone, Juice was out of the hospital not talking to her, Jax and Wendy were together. School was almost out and Donna had just had Kenny so she was even busier. A.J. was associated with SAMCRO so that meant she didn't have any friends outside the club.

It was the end of the day; she was at her locker trading out books when she felt someone behind her. She turned to see a tall handsome boy standing behind her. "Can I help you?"

He ran his hand through his brown hair, "Um I was wondering if you'd go out with me Friday?"

She glanced up and down the hall and saw no one staring at them, "I don't even know your name."

He hit his head. "Duh Talon Hale."

She frowned. "The Deputy's brother?"

"Um yeah, let me guess you didn't know he had a kid brother but anyway would you go out with me?"

"Um sure why not. What time?" She realized it was wrong but she needed a distraction.

"How 'bout 8? I'll pick you up."

She nodded "Okay pick me up at Teller-Morrow."

He was full on grinning at her now. "Yeah awesome, see you."

Friday Night

She was in the bathroom at the clubhouse fixing her hair and finishing up her make-up. She heard the door open and saw Donna in the mirror. "Where you going all dressed up?"

She had on a simple black dress that was fitted to just below her knees and electric blue pumps. "I have a date."

Donna smiled and took the curling iron helping her, "With whom?"

"This boy from school Talon Unser. Did you know the Hale had a kid brother?"

Donna's eyes widened. "Oh shit's about to hit the fan."

She turned toward Donna. "What?"

Donna bit her lip. "When they find out you're dating outside the club. I don't know how they're going to react since it's you but the women usually stick to the club."

A.J. sighed figures. "Yeah well no one's free and Tig is only if am desperate, I'm not, but I'm bored. It's just one date."

Donna laughed. "Yeah if they ask be evasive, give nothing away."

She laughed, "I'll keep that in mind."

Donna finished her hair and was talking about how fussy Kenny is when there was a knock on the door, "Yeah?"

It was Opie, "Did you fall in? Whoa, where are you going?"

A.J. turned so he got the whole picture and said, "Out."

"Damn. I don't know if you'll make it out the door looking like that. Donna, I can't find Kenny's pacifier."

Donna rolled her eyes, "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be able to find your head, either one of them." A.J. laughed while Opie gaped at her. All three walked out of the bathroom.

Kenny was in his car seat and Chibs was rocking him. "Ah found his passy it was under him."

Opie shuffled his feet while the women laughed. "See what did I tell you?"

A.J. looked at the clock. "Yeah I know the other day in the shop he couldn't find his sunglasses. They were on his head. I have to go, night." She kissed Kenny on the forehead and started to walk away.

"Lass where are ya goin' dressed like tha?"Chibs asked.

"Yeah, what guy's got you dressing up for them?" Tig asked.

She answered. "I'm going on a date with a guy from school. I'll be back by eleven."

She headed for the door and almost reached it when Jax spoke up, "What guy?"

She looked toward the heavens as if she was asking for strength."Um his name is Talon and okay bye."

She was out the door just as Talon was pulling into the lot. She opened the door and they were out of the lot before anyone saw the car. She sighed in relief.

Later that night

She had him drop her off at the clubhouse. It had been weird he was such a goodie-two shoes. Now she knows why crow eaters didn't go outside the club, outsiders were boring and they had nothing in common. She pushed opened the door to find it empty except for Gemma.

"Hey," A.J. slumped down in a chair opposite Gemma.

"Hey, how was the date?"

A.J. ran her fingers through her hair running the curls. "It was dull. I mean we talked about school and that was it he didn't try anything which was a first for me."

Gemma laughed at her, "Yeah well if you had stayed one of the boys would have tried something. Do you need a ride home?"

A.J. shook her head, "naw I'll stay here tonight."

Gemma picked up her papers and headed for the office across the lot. A.J.'s phone rang, "Hello."

Hey I was wondering if you could watch the kids tomorrow. I have to work and Opie is busy.

"Yeah sure. I have no life anyway."

It went that bad?

"Pretty much. What time do I need to be there?"

I have to be at work at nine.

"Okay I'll be there early so I can make breakfast. Night Donna."

Hey Opie's still there why don't you get him to bring you home with him?

"Where?"

Check church and if he ain't there check the shop, night.

That's nice Donna, she thought as she went to knock on the door to church, "Come in."

She pushed it open, "Hey Opie, Donna wants you to take me home with you tonight, shut it Tig."

Tig held up his hands in surrender. "I didn't say anything."

"Alright we're almost done. You got something to change into?" She nodded and was closing the door.

"Hey how was your date?"

"It was boring Clay." She saw the smug looks on all of their faces as she left.

Opie appeared after about ten minutes, "When I asked that I meant go change unless you want all of Charming to see your ass."

"I show my ass all the time, what's the difference?"

Chibs smiled as she kissed his cheek. "Night baby, Opie don't forget to check in on Juice."

Opie and A.J. walked out to his bike. "So when are you going to tell Juice how you feel and stop dating these chumps?"

She grabbed the helmet from him after putting her book bag on. "I don't know what you're talking about?"

He snorted and held her hand as she pulled up her skirt and threw her leg over the bike.

"You do too Alexandria. You look at him like I look at Donna. Tell him, don't let him be an ass and don't date that ass you went out with tonight. By the way that was your freebie next time they have to come in the clubhouse." He pulled off.

They went to Juice's first and once off the bike Opie pushed her toward the door. "Hey I can walk just fine." He snorted.

"When did you turn into a pig Ope?" She asked.

"Shut up and get in the house." He opened the door. "Hey Juicy, I brought cherry pie, ow, don't hit me."

She glared at him.

They heard a door close and a blonde woman came up the hall, "Hey he's asleep. They got him on a lot of pain meds." Opie was watching A.J.'s face and could see her heartbreaking.

"Good has he eaten all the food I brought over the other day?" A.J. asked heading to the kitchen.

"No not yet," the blonde answered.

"Okay, ready Opie?"

"Yeah A.J. let's go. Call us if he needs anything." The blonde nodded. They got back on the bike.

"You okay?"

She wrapped her arms around him. "Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

He let it drop and they went to Opie's. He let her in the dark house, he watched as she went to change and saw the hurt in her eyes.

He sighed and walked into the bedroom, "Hey babe."

"Rough night?" She asked.

"Not till just now went to check on Juice and Myla was there."

Donna sat up, "Was A.J. with you?"

He laid back, "Yeah, Donna her face."

Donna snuggled against him, "She'll be fine. She's young Ope. Go to sleep."

He woke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Donna didn't cook when she had to work so that meant A.J. and she made everything from scratch. He padded down the hall in just his boxers,

"Yes, food." The girls laughed at him as he sat down at the table where Donna and Ellie were sitting.

A.J. put a plate in front of him, "Chibs should be here soon with Jax and Juice. I made the mistake of telling him I would make pancakes this morning."

"No they're mine."

Donna laughed. "What are you a caveman? I have to go. Have a good day baby."

She kissed Opie, Ellie and then walked over to A.J. "Kenny's been fed and is asleep he should be up in a little bit."

She nodded as Donna kissed her forehead and left.

After Donna left the boys showed up. "No get out. You get her cooking every day. Out."

They ignored him, grabbed plates and loaded them with pancakes and bacon. "Where's baby girl?" Opie answered with his mouthful. "Outside with Ellie and Kenny. You're up shit creek." He pointed to Juice.

"What did I do?" Juice asked with a frown. "Like you don't know! Oh Chibs Donna told me who A.J. went out with, Talon Hale."

"What the fuck?" Jax asked.

"No wonder she was bored." He smirked looking at Juice. "And she's mad at you? Oh yeah I'm back in."

Opie shook his head, "No you're not and neither is Juice."

Chibs spoke. "I agree with Opie, ya going to have to work for that one."

Two Weeks Later

She's breathing hard and sweaty, laying on the floor of Juice's room at the clubhouse. She was high and just a little drunk, okay a lot drunk. School was out and she spent most of her day with the now patched Juice.

She looked at him before standing up pissed at herself for giving into her emotions. She dressed.

"Hey where are you going?"

The truth she wanted to lay there with him, "Look thanks but I've got things to do." She walked out buttoning her jeans. She closed the door and leaned back on it and took a deep breath before pushing off.

Last week it was Jax after he helped her, this week Juice because she was in love with him. Opie was at the bar drinking.

"Am I a whore?"

He sputtered. "Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged, "Oh I don't know maybe because I sleep around."

He looked her, "With who Jax and Juice? That doesn't make you a whore."

She sighed. "Alright." Opie turned toward, "Hey you think you can watch the kids tomorrow? I got to go on a run with Kyle." She nodded, "Yeah I would love to watch my godbaby and Ellie." They sat there in silence until the door busted open, "Everyone on their knees."

Someone grabbed her and shoved her to the ground, "Alexandria Jade Crowe-Telford you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights?"

She was handcuffed and looked at the man who apparently leading, "What am I being arrested for?"

He grinned at her, "Sweetheart you are charged with murder and trafficking drugs across state lines. Which is a federal offence."

Chibs who had been led down the hall with his hands on his head, "Who da hell are ya?"

"Mr. Telford I am Agent Daniel Tran. Your daughter is under arrest, I hope you have a good lawyer."

Best damn lawyer in California couldn't keep her or Opie from going to prison for the next five years. Two weeks into being in prison she called Donna to check on her and the kids when she received the news that Opie had been caught and he was in Jail waiting on a court date for his trial. A.J. had pleaded out to lesser charges and the witness for the murder charge went missing thanks to Happy whoever that was. She got five years for her felony it was the minimum amount of time she could serve. Opie was being held on arson charges.


	5. Freedom

Freedom is defined as the power or right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. She hadn't had that in five years. Prison changes a person; she was a little older and a lot colder. The day she left the prison Chibs had picked her up since he was the only one that knew she was getting out.

Getting on the back of his bike had been so freeing it was then she realized she wanted one. She loved the wind blowing through her hair and the motor roaring between her legs. They headed to the clubhouse, Chibs had church today and she wanted to see what had changed while she was gone. They pulled into the lot; she hopped off so he could back the bike into its place.

"Opie gets out in a week, he's getting a home coming ah don't know why ya didn't want one?" She pushed her long hair back it was now past her butt, she had toned up, her breast were a little bigger and her old jeans didn't fit anymore. She had matured in good ways while she was gone. Her skin was a little darker and her eyes a deeper green than before she got locked up. Chibs thought she looked good but just because the outside looks good doesn't mean the inside does.

"Yeah, well Opie went away for the club. I went away because my mom decided she wanted to be a bitch." Chibs got off the bike and placed his arm around her shoulders guiding her into the clubhouse. "Yeah well ya out now so enjoy it."

They walked in and some curly hair boy/man, he looked young, said, "They're waiting for you."

"Aight, Half-sack this is A.J. get her whatever she wants. See ya in a bit." Chibs smacked her ass as he walked toward church.

She shook her head as she sat on a stool, "So why did he call you half-sack?" As he told the story of being blown up all she could think about is why the fuck was he here.

"Do you want to see?"

She shrugged. "Why the hell not?" He undid his pants, "Holy shit. Does it still work?"

He nodded "Yeah."

"Okay put it away." He did. "Can I have a beer?" He looked at her, "I'm twenty three." He handed her the beer. "Do you have a smoke? Thanks." He started cleaning the bar, "So what's your real name?"

He started sweeping the floor, "Kip Epps."

She smiled at him. "Nice to meet you Kip, Alexandria."

He frowned as he continued to sweep, "What's the J stand for?"

She sipped her beer, "Jade."

He smiled at her, "That's a pretty a name."

"Thanks. Are you flirting with me Kip?" She had an evil grin on her face.

"What? No you're with Chibs of course not."

She laughed. "Relax. I'm his adopted daughter."

He relaxed, "oh, cool."

They heard the gavel hit and heard voices and chairs move. She turned so that she was facing the church doors. The first one out was Tig, "No fucking way, baby girl?"

She got off the stool as he came toward her. He bear hugged her, picking her up and spinning her, "Damn girl you look good? So did you turn into a lez while you were in there?"

"Tig, do you really think I would do that?"

He looked at her, "Naw but I had to ask." He still hadn't let her go and she was okay with that Chibs had done the same thing after she walked out of the prison gates.

"Hey share." Piney smiled at her. She hugged him and asked how he was. They talked just a little bit before Clay said, "Hey what's that about sharing? Hey baby girl Gemma's going to pissed you didn't tell her you were getting out today."

She hugged Bobby, Jax, and Juice. They were all standing around drinking, smoking, and talking, "Hey do you still want to work at Teller-Morrow?"

She nodded swallowing her beer. "Yeah, I need the money and something to do other than twiddle my thumbs."

A month home and shit starts hitting the fan. Someone burned the warehouse down with two people in it. She didn't know who, she wasn't on that payroll. She was working the office at TM when Gemma came flying in the lot. Wendy was in the hospital. A.J. couldn't believe Jax had married her while she was in prison; Wendy had always been a junkie.

She rode to the hospital with Gemma, "If you hadn't gone to prison, he wouldn't have married her."

She snorted. "Gemma there was no love between us it was sex. He would have married her anyway because I wasn't going to be his bed bunny anymore."

Gemma sighed, "I know. I'm just a little upset." Gemma parked and they headed upstairs with Clay, Jax, Bobby and Chibs. Gemma explained what she had found to the guys while A.J. looked around. After Jax talked to the doctor him, Chibs, and Bobby left.

Gemma, A.J., and the doctor stood looking at each other, "A.J. this is Doctor _Tara Knowles."_

A.J. smiled, "So you're _the Tara_ nice to meet you, Alexandria. Can you explain exactly what you're going to do to Abel?"

Dr. Knowles explained and brought them back to look at the baby boy. He was so tiny and fragile looking, "He's handsome like his dad. That's a heartbreaker right there."

Gemma smiled at her, "He is just like Jax."

Gemma was giving her the look, "Stop. He's not interested and neither am I." A.J. noticed Tara was listening to the conversation.

"You still got a thing for Juice?"

A.J. shrugged, "I don't know how I feel right now."

She glanced at her watch, "I have to go check in with my parole officer. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Gemma nodded.

She walked out thinking about what the club might do about the warehouse and what Jax might do about Wendy. She stopped and turned to look back at Gemma who looked deep in thought. A.J. knew she never wanted to piss off that woman but she didn't worry about Wendy she had brought this on herself and deserved whatever she got. She caught herself, _you did the same thing_. She sighed and walked away there was no stopping Gemma from doing what she wanted.

She was sitting at the bar waiting for Chibs. She needed to go shopping and borrow his car. Jax slid up beside her. "So what happened while you were in prison?"

She lit a cigarette. "Nothing. I mean the first year was hard, fights, earning respect, you know the usual stuff. Got shanked one time, not fun, but what happened afterward got me enough respect that I was safe for the rest of my time."

"Shit why'd she shank you?" Jax was sitting beside her.

"She was a Mayan whore and she saw my tat figured if she offed me she'd gain something."

He stood up. "How come we weren't told?"

"Chibs knew but I made him keep it to himself so don't get mad at him. Sit down. It wasn't life threatening but I do have a scar from it."

Jax sat and picked up her free hand. "How you'd get respect?"

"After she stabbed me I beat the shit out off her, self-defense or that's what I claimed."

Jax laughed, "I've got stuff to do mom's having a dinner you should come." He kissed her forehead and left. She decided it was time to actually talk to Juice, have a face to face conversation.

She would go shopping later. She went down the hall following his voice. He was standing there talking to Chibs, "Hey can I talk to Juice for a minute?"

"Aye. Don't forget we're having dinner tonight." She watched as Chibs walked off.

"What's up?" He looked older but he was still just as handsome as she remembered.

"Um I know we really haven't talked since I got back but I just wanted to thank you for writing me."

Juice opened his dorm room door, "No problem. I missed you." He smiled at her as he sat in his desk chair.

"I missed you too." He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to the chair.

"Really if you missed me so much how come you've been avoiding me like a virus?" She shrugged.

"I think you know baby girl." He pulled her into his lap,

"I think am scared." She whispered.

"Of what?" He asked in a husky tone.

"Of this."

He grinned at her. "You don't have to be. I'm whatever you want me to be." He kissed her. "I need to work on some things."

"It can wait a few minutes." He shook his head but didn't fight her as she pulled him to the bed.

She watched him work form the bed, he was trying to locate something but she wasn't going to ask him what it was. She was just a bystander now. He wore just his jeans, bent over the desk looking over maps. He glanced over at her smiling, "I'm done now do you want to go do something?"

She shook her head, "No just laying here is good. Anyway I have dinner with Chibs tonight." He climbed into the bed with her. He looked at her, he noticed the little things like how she had crow's feet when she smiled and how the smile didn't always reach her eyes. She also had a huge scar on her rib cage now.

He kissed her neck where he left hickeys, she'd be pissed when she saw them but he was feeling possessive. Five years had been a long time for him even though he hadn't waited for her. He had fallen for her when he had taught her how to fix cars. There was just something about this girl that he felt compelled to be close to her.


	6. Old Lady

Chibs sat on the picnic table watching A.J. threaten Half-sack for her cigarettes. Chibs had ordered Half-sack to take them and keep them away from her. Watching Half-sack run around the parking lot yelling that he couldn't give them to her was hilarious. The whole club was watching. Chibs knew if it went on much longer Half-sack would end up hurt.

She finally got him cornered. "Give me my goddamn cigarettes."

He stammered, "I, I can't."

She glared at him. "And why the fuck not?"

He glanced at Chibs. "I have orders."

"If you don't give them to me I will kick you in the jewel." She fainted faked kicking him, he blocked and she punched him in the nose.

"Shit I can't see, shit."

She took her cigarettes out of his vest pocket. The guys all hissed and winced when A.J. had fakedthe kick but no one laughed as she walked toward the table mumbling about stupid people and how he was lucky he wasn't dead.

Tara had pulled in the parking lot and was talking to Jax. They walked past the picnic table and A.J. said."Same bitch different day."

She blinked like she couldn't believe that the words had just left her mouth. She got up and left while Chibs leaned toward Jax, "She didn't mean it she's been pissed since yesterday."

"Why?" Opie asked.

Chibs shrugged. "She left da house yesterday came home slamming shit. Dats all ah know."

Opie sighed. "I'll see if Donna will talk to her."

Opie then looked at Juice. "You didn't do anything to piss off your old lady did you?"

He choked on his beer. "She's not my old lady and no."

Everyone gave him the stop-lying look, "Yeah okay Juice." Opie got up and went to go find the woman who could very easily kill them.

He found her in the shop under a car. "What's going on Alexandria?" She rolled out on the creeper and looked up on him.

"Nothing."

He knelt beside her. "Don't lie to me. Oh by the way Juice says you ain't his old lady."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, "Come on, we're going for a ride." He dragged her to his truck.

"Where are you taking me?"

Opie pushed her into the truck. "We're going to go to my house and you're going to tell either me or Donna what's going on."

"I have to work."

Opie shook his head at her. "Why so you can break shit nope don't think so?" She sighed as he drove.

She had stared out of the passenger window from a few minutes before saying, "My mom is in town."

He looked at her sideways. "What does she want?"

A.J. shrugged, "I don't know. Money. To ruin my life. I don't know."

"Why didn't you tell Chibs?"

She started playing with the seatbelt. "It's my problem and I can deal with it."

He pulled over. "You're aligned with SAMCRO. We can help Alexandria if you let us."

He looked at her, "That's not the only thing is it?" She shook her head no.

"You going to tell me?"

She sighed. "It's nothing."

"Tell me!" he said it in a pleading tone.

"Is it wrong for me to want back in?"

He looked at her, "No, if it's for the right reasons and not because you want to get someone's attention."

She laughed, "If I wanted his attention, which is not a problem, I'd walk around in lingerie but that's not the point. Luanne called and made me an offer but if I can get back in SAMCRO I won't have to do it."

"What the fuck? No you're not working for Luanne. Does Chibs know? Of course not. I'm telling him about this. We're going back to the clubhouse."

She slid down in her seat and mumbled that she was a grown ass woman, she's killed men bigger than him and sarcastically asked him if he thought Donna would miss him. He ignored her.

He pulled into the lot and saw Piney, "Hey you seen Chibs?"

Piney pointed toward the clubhouse. "He's in there playing cards. Why?"

Opie stalked into the clubhouse with A.J. on his heels, "Go ahead tell him." Opie glared at her, "I will and you know what I'll tell Donna too."

She gasped. "If you do that she won't let me see Kenny or Ellie."

He gave her a smug look, "That's what I thought." They were at the table, "What are ya arguing about?"

Opie pointed at her, "Luanne called her and offered her a job and she's considering it."

Juice, who was at the bar, stood up. "No if you need extra money. I'll give it to you."

"Aye what Juicy said. You won't be working for her."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm grown and anyway you don't have a say cause I'm not your old lady."

The men all gave Juice the we-told-told-you-so look. He ignored them and walked toward, "I love you Alexandria. I want you to be my old lady if that's what you want."

Opie interjected. "She wants to work with SAMCRO again."

"If you're my old lady you don't have to do that but if it's what you want, fine." She was staring at him in disbelief. He didn't wait for an answer he grabbed her pulling her to him and kissed her deeply in front of the whole club. There were cheers, shouts and whistles from around the room.

He pulled away smiling at the woman in his arms, "So?" She smiled back, "Yeah, I love you too."

Everyone was smiling at them and Tig said, "Hey you better treat her right, Juice." Ayes went through out the room.

For a moment all her problems disappeared and she was happy. She was still in Juice's arms with her head on his chest. The door opened and in walked an older woman with bleach blonde hair, fake boobs, and make-up plastered on her face.

"Excuse me I'm looking for Ally or Alexandria?" A.J. knew that voice. She hated that voice had since she realized the woman behind it didn't care for her.

A.J. let go off Juice. "What do you want Carly?"

"Honey don't be rude. Can I talk to you?" It irked her how sweet that voice was and knew it was only for the people around them. She glared at the woman who had used and abused her all her life, the woman that sent her to prison because she refused to enable her mother's habit.

"Sure." She pointed outside and she followed behind her. They walked away from the people but still insight of them. "What do you want?"

"I need some money."

A.J. shook her head no, "And this time you can't send me to prison."

Her mother wrung her hands. "Well if you had just did as I asked for once."

"Excuse me, for once? I became a criminal to keep a roof over our heads. Did you even care? No you left me there by myself with your boyfriends. I gave you whatever you asked for and never wanted anything but your love. You're nothing but a junkie whore and that's all you'll ever be. You are not my mother and you never have been."

She felt the sting on her cheek. Her mother had smacked her and she saw red. She went for her mother. She hit Carly and didn't want to stop. She felt arms around her waist pulling her away from her mother. "sshhhh calm down."

It was Juice she watched as Half-sack helped Carly up.

Chibs spoke. "Ya need to leave. Don't come back here and don't even think of pressing charges."

Carly stumbled off as Juice asked, "You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Actually I feel a lot better."

She was laying beside Juice awake. She watched him sleep and thought about Jax's kid. She was wondering if she wanted to take that risk especially now that she was helping with the club again. She rolled so that she laid half on his chest, "Are you awake?"

"Mmmmm depends." She kissed his chest. "Do you want kids?"

His eyes snapped open, "Why?"

She lifted her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. "I was just wondering if that was something you wanted."

He let out a sigh. "Yeah, I want kids. Do I want them right now? Not with all the shit that's going on. I see Jax struggling and I want to be there for everything you know? Also I'm a little scared after Abel."

She nodded. "I understand. I was thinking the same thing."

He ran his hands down her back. "When I do have kids I want them to be with you."

She laughed. "You're just saying that."

"No I'm not. Think about how awesome our kids would be. I'm hot, you're hot and our kid would be smoking."

She laughed. "Shut up."


End file.
